Boy rant

by Marcella

It’s official. I have lost faith in the male sex.

To be specific, I mean I have lost my belief that any man who I am more than friends with will ever be able to take care of himself, much less me. It doesn’t matter to me if my male friends stay up until 4 am., sleep till noon, own more video games than books, and aspire to nothing more than clean laundry, good beer and equally “chill” friends. The male friends I have I have for reasons such as camaraderie, humor, dependability, and the willingness to make me laugh or help me hang a picture.  But I don’t think of my male friends as potential sperm donors, men I want to spend every day of the rest of my life with, or men that I would trust with my life if I had a deadline and a sick baby.

And since most men I know today fall into the  category I first listed,  I have lost my faith (maybe I mean respect?) for most males.

I think I’ve been remotely aware of this for a while, but last night my roommate (who is a male and a friend, yet not someone I want to share chromosomes with), his cousin and I sat around and discussed everything from the state of politics to society to technology.  They all converge, really, but…

I heard myself saying, with disgust, even, that I can’t believe how most of the men I know would rather just sleep in than do anything productive.  Our culture portrays this in the media, and has since I was little, so  boys and young men grow up wanting to do this–hell, I want to do this too–but it seems like it’s reaching pretty epic proportions.  Where are the men who grew up with work ethics, structure and goals?  Do I just not meet the right people any more?  Probably.

For as hard as I am on the male gender right now, I know I’m not perfect. I, too, want to live my cushy lifestyle, do what I want when I want, and eat Cheetos all day.  But I don’t. That’s the difference.  This is a hot water topic, I know.  But I wonder how many women feel the same way I do, and what we’ll do about it? Studies show that we’ll stay single longer– men and women both– and in the book Manning Up: How The Rise Of Women Has Turned Men Into Boys shows that men have chosen to stay children.

In a section on Maxim Magazine, author  Hymowitz writes

Victoria’s Secret cover art was not the entire key to Maxim’s success…what set Maxim apart from  other men’s mags was its voice.  It was the sound of guys hanging around the Animal House living room –where put downs are high-fived; gadgets are cool;  rock stars,  sports heroes and cyborg battles are awesome; jobs and Joni Mitchell suck, and girls are simply hot–or not.  In other words, Maxim asked the [single young male] what he wanted, and got this answer: he wanted to hear he didn’t have to grow up.

So. Call me a feminist–or a bitch– but I have to agree with  Hymowitz.  But it’s not just men. I don’t want to grow up a lot of the time, either.  Except I know I have to. Or maybe, to play on words, I accept  I have to.

The problem becomes, as I, and other females move forward, if we no longer want to play with the boys, what kind of future are we growing up into? A wholly feminized world, like that envisioned by  feminist writers from the 70s ? That sounds terrible as well.

Now, I’ve not yet read all of this book, so I’m not quite sure how women are to blame for this predicament in which we find ourselves (maybe it’s not a predicament?), but I am interested in learning  more. If anything, the above Maxim stuff I’ve pulled out makes it sound like the media is to blame, more than women.